Three Shades of Red...

Yesterday I went shopping in Ogden with my kids, and let me just say by the time we were done and ready to come home I had experienced three shades of red on my face on several different occasions. (kids- they say the darnedest things, and usually at totally the wrong time).
READ ON, and you will understand what I mean.

ELLIE

We were at Dalhes picking up some work pants for Ray, and let me just say that the kids and I were the youngest ones in the store by probably 25 or more years. Well this older lady walked by, and then stopped at a wrack of clothes we were standing by. Ellie in her Ellie way took this big sniff in and then did it again several times and then said really loud Mom, I can smell old in this store. I said that's nice Ellie now SHHHSH. Then she took another big sniff in and said, mom I can smell something that smells really old in this store. I felt my face turn so red and the older lady standing next to us just smiled and walked away. (you know the smell that comes with old age?) I was so embarrassed...

K, now we have left Dalhes, and are now at Wal-Mart. And I am picking up a few things that we need for the week, and we head over to get chips. Well, there is this gal there stocking the chips. (I assume she was an employee of Frito Lay) Anyway she was dressed in this really tight outfit. Black Leather Pants, and a really tight top. The shirt is unbuttoned half way and she has a black lace bra on. Well you could tell just by looking that this gal had probably had a surgery to enlarge her assets. Well as we were walking past she bent over, and Ellie quite loudly said mom her boobs are about to fall right out of her shirt. (Oh my heavens, hear comes the red face again) The girl leans up real quick with an embarrassed look on her face and adjusts herself. I quickly say Ellie you need to say your sorry to her, that was not nice. Ellie says (Sorry) (in that tone that lets you know she is saying it just cause I am making her) and the gal says oh that's OK. Well we get past her pick up our chips and start heading back toward her to leave, and I tell Ellie you need to say your sorry and you need to act like you mean it. So we walk past and Ellie says I am sorry I said your boobs were falling out of your shirt, but they were. (I just quickly walked away)

JAKE

We are now at the other end of Wal-Mart, and I am picking up a new shower nozzle. And I run into a Sister from our ward in Brigham City. Her and I are talking and enjoying the moment when her husband rounds the corner, and comes over and joins the conversation. Jake looks up at him and then really loudly says, BOOGER, BOOGER his nose mom. (and here comes that feeling you get when your face is turning red yet again) The guy says oh thanks bud, turns around to fix his nose and then turns back around and says nope it wasn't a booger it was just an old man hair, and then Jake yells YA TOO A BOOGER, YOU GOT A BOOGER YOU NOSE. I just covered Jake's mouth, and said I am sooo SORRY. He just laughed and said it;s fine he is just a little boy. I was so humiliated.

Needless to say, I was really very ready for our shopping excursions to come to an end. I am not sure my face could have handled turning Red one more time. Please, please someone tell me my kids aren't the only ones who make loud comments in public.